Mielke Photography

I have been asked may times what do I do in case of a disaster to keep my images safe. This very situation came close to happening recently. We just moved my office down to the basement to make a bedroom available for my daughter. During a recent thunderstorm a drain got backed-up and water started collecting behind the door leading to a stairwell. Pretty soon there was roughly 800 gallons of water residing outside the door with only one way of relief, into the office on the other side!

Thankfully when we built the office we had everything built on risers, but there were other considerations to meet as well. There was important data residing on the hard drives inside the Mac Pro system. For that any water could be a disaster. Thankfully I had my Backup system already in place some months before and as I saw the water rushing in I knew more than likely my images and other precious data would be safe.

My first run images reside on a 1TB hard drive inside of Mac Pro. I then do a Time Machine Backup to a Drobo that resides on my desk. A Drobo has the ability to backup data and Mirror it so if one of the drives fail your precious data is still safe. In this case since it is a Time Machine Backup if I accidentally delete a file I can go back and grab an earlier version of the file that is still in the Time Machine.

I wanted at least two data points for my images though and so there is also an older NAS that I have set up to Backup this same drive keeping 30 days worth of changes in a separate folder. That way I can go back and collect any files that I feel I might need. So there I have two points of backup. The bad part, they are both on my desk. Sure they are on opposites sides of my desk AND connected via different electrical outlets. This didn’t give me much comfort when there was 4 inches of water already on the grown and 800 gallons outside of my door waiting to enter.

What did though was my off site backup to Backblaze. For $5 a month I can upload all of the data that I want from a single computer. Now the initial backup took me 60 days on my present connection. After that is done the uploads take much less time and it can be even scheduled to do it in the evenings only. What would have been more effective would be to have a backup solution another house reach out and download the pictures instead of an upload, but that will be for a later design.

As I looked at the water pouring in, I knew that not only did I have two points of backup that would have to fail, I also had one off-site. With gallons of water all around electronic equipment that sure did give me some comfort that I wouldn’t lose everything.

What is your backup solution?

Most would say that to bring up religion in a photography blog probably wouldn’t be the best idea. Like many controversial topics it is usually best to steer clear. Since this has never been a photography blog per se, but a blog about what interests I have and more importantly what passions fuel my life, I am hoping that I get a pass. For those not interested in religion hang with me, the narrow topic may be religion, but there is a broader topic.

I am not a cradle Catholic, in fact on most things I and the Catholic Church will find some divergence of opinion. I am however Catholic. A decision I made some time long before I had children and through a very long and meticulous process. I began as just a parishioner, and later joined the choir and even sang solos.

This journey from my first foot inside of the Catholic Church to my conversion on an Easter morning 4 years later was also different. I went through RCIA fully intending to not change anything about my situation, to just continue my faith journey and hopefully to continue to develop my commitment towards God.

I give my reader this background so they can understand each of the choices that I made in the past. I am not however a liturgical person my sense of faith veers off when it comes to Biblical law. I can however speak quite well about what faith means to me. What is contained going forward is about that and has nothing to with any Church by definition that I am aware of

My children however have been baptized and raised Catholic from the beginning. By the time they came into this world, I was a well-established member of the Catholic faith. They do not go to Catholic School however, just church and CCD. Their faith journey has been different than mine in many ways and will always be. Faith is an individual process between you and God. What side trails your journey takes are wholly dependent on where your spiritual journey leads.

My children’s journey today after years of Sunday classes is leading them towards their first reconciliation and onward to their first communion. As most of my readers know Buddy has Down Syndrome. My Co-Parent and I opted to hold Buddy back one year of his CCD in hopes that his ability to learn might catch-up with the class he was attending. When Punkin started, she was with Buddy in the same class learning side-by-side with him.

There are 7 Sacraments in the Catholic Church, Reconciliation being one of them. Very shortly both of my children will accept this Sacrament at the same time. Buddy and Punkin have gone through this process hopefully learning fully what it means to confess your sin to the Father or Christ and receive forgiveness.

I have been very troubled by my Co-Parents insistence of Buddy going through the same process as Punkin. This has caused much strife in my life. My views of this Sacrament have remained unchanged. From even before we were married, my view has been this is too early in a spiritual journey to make this type of commitment to god. In my life as a Catholic most do agree that a 7-8 year olds idea of sin is very rudimentary. Their “faith” is based on not doing mean things to their parents or as my daughter confirmed. “If I bit my brother, I have committed a sin”

I went through a diligent process in accepting my first reconciliation and then my first communion. My journey took 5 years of attendance in church and would not have happened had I not had numerous conversations with the Deacon on faith and more importantly how my faith fits into the Catholic Church. My desire to commune in the church I attended won out though.

I longed to have communion. For me that was the most important part that I was missing in my life. I wanted to receive the bread and the cup and to confirm that faith I had in Christ. I hadn’t communed in the Catholic Church where I went week in and week out because I knew that this was not allowed. Being Lutheran I shouldn’t commune inside of a Catholic Church so I withheld myself from this part of the service.

In all of these discussions with the Deacon it was apparent to me that the rules of man were what caused me anxiety. The “rules of god” probably didn’t mind. I converted to Catholicism and I accepted the cup and have communed ever since, except for a number of months after my divorce become final.

I find myself a diligent practitioner of my faith. The “faith” I practice in the church that I attend do vary wildly from it. I have ironed out “my faith” and my relationship with God with may conversations with him. We have worked on it together and it is forever evolving and will continue to.

Buddy, has only a rudimentary knowledge of good and bad. When I have discussed sin with him he repeated the word to me like we were practicing a speech lesson. When asked about what would be good or bad behavior I know that he is aware and learns, he doesn’t bite people anymore, but onetime did. He helps the girl down the block get her coat on. He says he is sorry when either asked or for bumping into someone on the street. He in addition knows how to get his emotions under control when asked if a toy is taken away from him. He understands things in the moment.

I doubt he will ever be able to have those conversations with God that I have on a regular basis, it won’t be a matter a choice he can make, but a matter of ability. His understanding will limit him. I who have crafted what it is that I have learned and painstakingly apply it to my faith. I then continue to seek out and study to modify what I believe on a regular basis. This will be lost on Buddy. I realize though that this is my own selfish loss for my son

Buddy will walk through this reconciliation process despite what I want for him however. My Co-Parent has deemed him ready for this. She has also had conversations with Buddy and she reports that he does grasp and can speak upon sin and equate it with “good” and “bad”

As I was trying to find some meaning for me in this milestone that Buddy will undertake shortly, I have discussed with many people in my surrounding “think tank” I have received much advice. I even consulted my daughter to see what her feelings were on the topic.

Punkin spent time talking about sin and the process of reconciliation. Though not totally grasping sin she did at least understand the benefit of talking to someone or to communing with God and asking for forgiveness. I felt comfortable about where she was on her spiritual journey that I hope will continue to evolve even after I stop mandating it.

I also asked her about Buddy and if he felt he understood Reconciliation. She spoke about how attentive Buddy is in class. How he spends time watching different movies or coloring. She reported how mom has been in class on occasion playing with him. In one case he was taking pictures of his whole class with his camera. Punkin said she didn’t think he understood. I thanked her for her honesty.

I consulted with the same Deacon who I had conversations with years earlier. I eagerly anticipated his thoughts on the topic. He had reservations, but also felt that Buddy may never understand what is needed, but if he is not harmed then why not let it happen? I to had had this conversation with myself as well. Was I just holding onto how I lived and what I wanted, when in reality, it would never happen? Is this not what we expect or want for each of our children and may be the most precious gift we can give? Neither question has right or wrong answers.

For each of my children we want to have a better life than we had. We guide them in the direction and let them glean from our years of experience what worked and what didn’t. Letting them go finally to lead their own lives. Buddy though doesn’t have that luxury and may never have it. In the same deep recesses of mind where I talk to God, I also talk to me and question as a father what is right for one child and not for the other. On this topic I don’t have any answers. Faith is the answer not only in religion, but in parenting as well.

You see above another follow-up from my ScanCafe project. The emails have been pretty consistent recently. As you can see from above the give you a very nice visual update on what part of the process your images are at. Also the key to this page is to then track your order.

After I logged myself into their website I found exactly where my images were located at in their processing facility. Very nice touch! More updates as the product moves through their system.

For those that know me pre-children, they know that I love to cook.  I have always had a passion for making dishes and the more elaborate the better.  I can honestly say that I have spent over a day making a potato recipe, searching out the best ingredients, carefully putting them together, nurturing it for as long as it’s needed and then serving it.  In that case the taste wasn’t worth that type of effort, but at other times it has been more than so.  Because of this I have always admired Charlie Trotter.

Charlie Trotter is a Chicago icon.  His restaurant in Lincoln Park that bears his name has been a mainstay on top places to eat not only in Chicago and the US, but also the world.  Mr. Trotter has done this without ever attending a culinary institute, and in fact has a Political Science degree from the University of Wisconsin.  His cooking was self-taught from books and experiance.  During college he not only studied his coursework, but also read many culinary books and toured the best restaurants in the world during breaks.

Because of this I have always wanted to eat at his self-named restaurant and experience what culinary excellence tastes like.  I was looking forward to eating good food, but also taking in the presentation skills that the best chefs offer their patrons.  With that in mind I made the reservation to Charlie Trotter’s a few months back for my wife and I’s first wedding anniversary. 

We arrived at Charlie Trotter’s before our 5:30pm reservation and were the first guests to arrive.  The restaurant from the outside looks like a smallish house in the upper class Lincoln Park neighborhood in suburban Chicago.  There was some construction-taking place on the outside of the building and they were cleaning the steps up to the restaurant.  We were quite early and I suspect these were some last minute details being attended to before they expected their clientele to arrive.

Despite our early arrival the staff met us at the door and opened it for my wife and I.  As we first entered we saw a beautiful display of wine’s reaching up to the vaulted ceiling full of different varieties as one might expect from all over the world.  The bartender was there and met with us and of course offered us some champagne or other drink.  We accepted the Champagne from the list that they had available by the glass.  After a period of time we were then ushered to our seats and awaited the menu and the start of our experience. 

The restaurant is available in two levels of seating with our seats being on the first level.  There is also available some seating in the kitchen, from my understanding those are just randomly selected from the evenings guests.  This must be an incredible experience to witness not only how the meal is put together, but also to see how the staff operates and the food arrives. 

The menu arrives on a specially prepared sheet of paper and the wine list is a well-stocked book.  There are two selections, the vegetable menu and the Grand Menu.  The vegetable is just that all vegetables and the Grand contains many different styles of meats and seafood.  Our waiter though was quick to point out that if we had any specially prepared items they would substitute or if there were any allergies they would also change out menu items as well. 

Along with the menu for the evening there is a beverage menu for the different wines that will be matched and served with each dish.  Along with the drinks is a non-alcoholic fruit juice menu.  Given the opportunity to enjoy 5 or more different glasses of wine with many different varietals both my wife and I chose the alcoholic portion of the drink menu.  There is available either regular bottled water as well as tap water and a well stocked bar. 

Mr. Trotter only serves ingredients at the peak of their maturity so there are different menu choices on most any evening you might arrive.  I have enclosed the choices we had and since neither Kate nor I have any allergies, changes were not needed. 

The dining experience will take at least 2- 2½ hours from start to finish.  I will not describe each dish, but only hit the highlights of both menus.  With each different glass of wine, port or sherry there is a different piece of stemware from Reidel included.  By about the 3rd course you forget what meals are scheduled and in what order so it is always exciting when they place each glass in front of you.  We spent a little time guessing what wine and what meal course is arriving shortly.

For those carnivores thinking the vegetable menu might not be to their liking, I can relieve them from that caution.  There were two exceptional dishes in my meal, both the duck and the veal, but until those arrived I was craving most of the dishes that arrived in front of Kate, each was very aromatic with exceptional tastes as well.

Each course and wine arrived with a short presentation from each attendant.  During that they described the wine or meal with a short explanation.  In the case of the wines, you heard about the grape varietal and the region the wine was from.  For the meals you heard about each particular part of the entrée and the ingredients that make up each dish. 

As one might expect the amenities and the presentation for an upper-tier restaurant is what will also attract some guests as well.  None of the tables in our lower level dining room is intimate though.  This leads to some benefit since most of the guests are eating from the same menu.   Given that we were one of the first guests we were able to relive each course as the tables next to us received their portions.  This always reminded me how exceptional each portion was.

Because of this lack of intimacy your dining becomes much more of a social event than you might anticipate.  The table next to us asked us if we knew the score of the Cubs game, when I didn’t they checked it on their phone and reported the outcome to me. 

Next door to the main level dining room is another small kitchen and a table for small parties.  Many might remember this kitchen from Mr. Trotter’s PBS show, which aired a few years back.  This room can easily hold another 20 or so guests and was in use later in the evening.  This would also be where I bumped into Mr. Trotter who kindly pointed the direction back to the main hall for me when I was slightly distracted while watching the chef’s cook on multiple TV monitors placed in the rear of this second kitchen.

The service as you might expect was spectacular.  All of the waiters and waitresses were very knowledgeable on each dish.  We used this knowledge often and they were more than happy to go over each dish and flavor.  Kate and I explored the many different flavors that are apart of the different courses.  The plates and the presentation also changed with the wine glasses for each course, we also went through a number of different forks, knives and spoons as they also changed.  With that much changing of place settings happening you might think the staff might get under-foot.  Amazingly enough they were always there when you needed them, but somehow were never in your way nor interrupted any of our conversation.

During our meal there never was any pressure to finish each course, in fact quite the opposite.  We were encouraged to enjoy each at our out pace, savor the wine and experience each dish with all of our senses.  The vegetable menu lent itself often to this exploration, as those dishes were especially fragrant.

Almost all of the dishes were prepared with multiple flavors.  However none of the different preparations was larger than a few mouthfuls.  We found it best to enjoy these by taking small bites from each side of the plate.  In order to share any, small bites will be a necessity.  Because of the smaller portions we explored each part of the dish to experience each and every flavor.  There were many times we asked the wait-staff back to tell us again what a certain flavor was. This was by far for me the best part of the meal because in many cases I would have never thought to combine certain ingredients together in one dish. 

True to their word when we made the reservation the meal from start to finish was close to 2 ½ hours.  As we neared the end of the meal a delightful elderly lady came by and asked if we might want to tour the kitchen after our meal was complete.  I of course readily answered a yes and she said to have the wait-staff get her when we were ready. 

After dessert the elderly woman was identified to us as Mrs. Trotter, we soon found out that this was Charlie’s mom and we set off to take advantage of the tour of the kitchen.  As we entered the kitchen we spotted the lone table and then the multiple different areas for each course that was being prepared for the evening.  We also found out the reason for the expert pacing through the meal was due to two people who were in charge of pacing each table so that within 30 seconds of preparation the course would be on our plate and ready to be eaten! 

I discussed with Mrs. Trotter my love of cooking and how much both Kate and I enjoyed our meal, she then took us on a side tour to the extra banquet room to show us a special oven that Charlie cooks with called a TurboChef.  She explained in hushed tones that it was $7,000, but that like all new technologies it would come down in price she was certain.

We also discussed with her some of the ingredients that were used in the evening such as ramps and Morel mushrooms.  Morels are a favorite of mine from when I used to live in Michigan.  It was then that we found out that Mrs. Trotter took her honeymoon and the car ferry that leaves from my hometown of Ludington. We shared some small talk about Ludington and many of the geographical places that she might remember.  Our waiter thanking us for eating there interrupted our tour, but his comment to Mrs. Trotter about how much it was obvious we enjoyed the meal was a fond reminder of the meal we had just completed.  She then walked us back to the front of the restaurant and on the way Charlie grabbed what he called his first kiss of the evening and then we exited Charlie Trotter’s onto the street.

As most can tell by this time I was very much impressed with every part of the meal, it was far and away the finest meal from beginning to end that I have enjoyed.  The service was over and above and the whole dining experience was quite overwhelming, the tour just completed the end of a wonderful evening. 

There are only a few criticisms I can arrive at for the diner who would want to experience this type of meal.  I did not venture up to the upper floor so the seating there might be different.  Dining at Charlie Trotter’s can be a social event.  I’m sure for many of the patrons there this may be their only visit.  There were many pictures being taken and conversation was quite prevalent for a festive occasion.  It is not loud, but is present.  For Kate and I it fit our festive mood.  If you are looking for a very intimate dining experience this probably isn’t it. 

The other item to prepare yourself for Charlie Trotter’s as you might expect does come at some cost.  It is not to be ventured into lightly and without some room on the credit card.  It is however an event that needs to be enjoyed from start to finish and for Kate and I celebrating our first anniversary it will be remembered and treasured. 

The above picture was taken with my Panasonic LX3.  It was actually done after some prodding from the wait-staff.  Today I’m grateful of that prodding. 

I was on on a recent trip to Ohio and the birding hotspot Magee Marsh to photograph migrating warblers. For those that aren’t aware when you arrive at the wildlife refuge you follow the road all the way back to just along the Lake Erie shoreline. You will see a large parking lot and then signs for the boardwalk trail. During migratory seasons you will also see 100s of birders and photographers. During my recent trip there I fell in more with the photographers as you might expect.

Since this was my first experience photographing small birds and a warbler is very small compared to my winter bald eagle activity. Because of this I fussed quite a bit over which equipment to use. I settled on The Nikon 300 AFD with a Better Beamer and the D3 and D300 bodies. I did have mounted on a tripod the Nikon 600 AFS. Since the birds moved quite a bit and never seemed to stay in one place for any amount of time, the 600 was difficult to manuever. The boardwalk isn’t very wide once you open the legs of the tripod so there is the chance of a tripping hazard or worse the camera tipping over hazard. With a D3 and a Nikon 600mm that is not something that I cared to watch or have happen.

Most of the good shots I got was with my older AF version of the Nikon 300 f/4. I might next year want to bring the 200-400 AFS with a TC. I may also want to move my equipment to a monopod because that will allow me to be mobile which I found to be very important as the birds jump in and out of the trees and move around quite readily.

I once again found the best photos to be taken with the D3 over the D300. This was not just the full fram photos, but even when cropped. I can only say that this is my experiance and yours may vary. I was also not pleased with the focusing speed of the older Nikon AF 300 f/4. AFS has really spoiled me and there isn’t much room for error with birds that are able to move and twitch while on the branch that fast.

The above photo is taken of an amish family that came to do some bird watching at Magee Marsh. I found their outfits very photogenic and since there was some free time between birds I snapped a number of pictures of them. I also got some candids of people around me whose expressions I found interesting. Though I have never been a “street photographer” I did find this foray into street photography somewhat interesting, especially since I had birds as a backup.

As an update to my previous post on using ScanCafe from previous blog post.  A few days after my negatives arrived I received the following update from them.  Since all of these pictures were family memories it was a welcomed update to let me know that they had receive them and that they weren’t lost in transit.  Of course I had been checking the UPS site for their arrival and already was aware.

I also received another email recently that said they were going to be upping their prices on July 15.  They were giving a 10% discount code to beat the price increase.  Business must be good if they are increasing prices.  I almost accepted this deal because as loyal readers might recall I have 2-3 more batches of negatives that need to be turned into digital images and getting 10% off and avoiding a price increase is usually pretty high on my list. 

In the end I held off because I want to see the quality of the scans before I send more negatives to this type of service.  I also am still a little uncomfortable with having more than one batch of negatives out of my possession and in someone elses. 

I’ll keep every posted as I get more updates.

As I write this today is my son’s birthday  Though there isn’t a major milestone attached to this marker of his passing time.  Only 9 years since Tyler first arrived, it still seems to me as if it was yesterday.  I know that feeling of time passing and compression taking place.  Events that you swear weren’t that long ago, when viewed in years are many.

Buddy arrived into this world and I will selfishly admit to wanting my first born to be a son.  Though as I type those words I feel as if I am a character from the movie 300 for asking that.  I am the only son of an only son.  There is some sort of pressure being in that lineage.  Not put there, but just is.  I carry the name and the name is handed down and continued.  This no longer bother’s me, but at that time and that place on May 11, 2000, it did.  Life is different for me now.  Some of it because I am older and I like to think wiser, but much of these changes I believe are because of the mere existence of Buddy in my life. 

Truly life begins for Buddy and I on May 18.  His birth was met with elation and his death a mere 18 hours later, was met with the similar, but opposite feeling.  I have written to myself many times about those 18 hours and the emotional cigars I passed out at the birth of my first child and my only son.  I don’t know as I can properly express how exciting and amazing watching the whole opera progress before he arrived via C-section at 6:23pm.

Life takes many memories away, but it does not one iota dim my memory of those moments, feelings and visions, etched into my brain when I recall his birth.  The same can be said when the doctor strolled into the room and informed us of Tyler’s potential Down Syndrome diagnoses or “something else”.  The DS was scary enough, but the “something else” well what could that be.  He was there only 10 minutes to pass that information along.   The door closing behind him, without a question being asked and no time given to explanations or even to wipe the shock off our face.

May 18 though resides in my brain for a number of reasons though.  May 18 is my mother’s birthday.  It is also the realization day that my son was not going to have anywhere close to the life I had thought he would have and nothing that was going to even resemble “the plan” that resided in my head.  All of that would be gone and replaced with nothing.  No pages in this book, only blanks.

Being a perpetual planner with pages always being apart of my ongoing story, the lack of pages was the scariest event that could happen.  I knew how childhood was suppose to be or at least how I would want it, which no father ever gets, but wants to give their children.  It isn’t until later that they realize that their parents indeed had some wisdom, but we still swear we aren’t them. 

May 18 was when I looked into Buddy’s eyes and realized what I read sometime later was best described as the “ghost of Buddy.” This ghost existed more strongly then, but still is there today.  The Buddy that was in my head, the Buddy that resided there in my hopes and dreams, this Buddy that was going to be so much more than he could have possibly lived up to.  This “ghost” still exists, and still remains unchanged.  The Buddy that doesn’t have Down Syndrome, his chromosomes remarkably still attached and not broken.  Somehow at conception they were fused in the correct alignment and life for him and me went differently.

I don’t wish for him to not have DS.  I just see him that way.  Not every moment.  The son that is lost is not there most of the time now.  When he was little though he was there more often mostly because I needed him to be. 

In letting go of my “ghost” I was able to see things more realistically, more what is in Buddy’s world.  I have longed many times to spend some time there; it must be an amazing place.  I don’t know and will never be able to know whether I would be happy or sad there. 

I have mourned my son’s loss of intellect, his athletic prowess and creative skills.  I still in more selfish moments mourn those today.  Buddy doesn’t care about those though, the ghost in my head does.  I needed hope; I needed there to be some chance that he might be different than he was.  A miracle child…then as time marched on I realized less and less that I didn’t need that miracle. 

The miracle was indeed there and his name was Buddy.  All children are. 

Buddy filled up my life and the ghost started leaving.  I have inwardly been amazed when Tyler could start saying Dad.  When a complete sentence came out of his mouth that I understood.  When I watched him throw his first strike at the bowling alley, the gutters up and with help from Dad.  I have watched what were scribbles become his name and those same scribbles become people and trees in drawings.

The boy wins always against the ghost. 

I have spent hours in front of the TV with my head against it to feel static electricity because Buddy does, I’ve watched doors open automatically, I’ve seen 1000s of pictures sprout from Buddies camera and now even movies.  He didn’t need a manual for the camera.  The manual he couldn’t read.   

I’ve met people in stores, restaurants, school events and even in other states.  All know Buddy.  I don’t know them, but he knows them. 

Children have shouted, “retard” at him and he just looks at them confused.  Showing almost pity and a little hurt either in more comprehension then I give him credit for or none at all.  He deals with those moments more gracefully than I have.  I want to pound them, pulverize them…hurt them back.  Instead I go and talk to them about DS and how it’s not about being “retarded” It’s about being different.  In our diversity there is strength.

Sure it’s talking different, acting different, seeing different and in most cases looking different.

What would have hurt me when Tyler entered this world was his looking different.  Shallow though I may be and a hypocrite at times.  I had hopes that the coke Bottle glasses and atypical DS features might not be apart of my boys life. 

I still cringe sometimes when he gives me some action that wouldn’t and in many cases couldn’t be done by my daughter. Most times I see the handsome young man that resides in my head each day.  In an IEP session I also had one of his educators say something that I might have assaulted them for just a few years earlier.  “With all due respect, how can you not love him and want to help him.  You can tell that he needs help and he is just so cute.”

On May 18 though my progression into enlightment started.  I am so far just starting on this journey and I already see I have so far to go.  On May 18 was the day that I realized I was hanging onto a ghost and I needed to let it go. 

I will admit to always wanting to be a good father.  Whether I am or not I don’t know as I will ever find out.  I live with every day what I don’t do.  Like write this missive instead of going over pooh drawings with Tyler who is watching the Justice League on DVD in the next room.  I try to pat myself on the back when I think something comes out of my mouth that at least sounds good.  Sounds like I would want to hear from my own father or I think a father should say. 

I will admit to still having times where I sit next to the “ghost” Tyler.  In those moments, sometimes early in the morning before he gets up, I will just stand and stare at Buddy.  Sometimes he has forgotten to take his glasses off, other times he will be clutching a favorite movie or Batman doll.  I look into my son and see past the facial features, which more so today than yesterday mark him as a child with disabilities.  His smallish ears and his eyes, which aren’t the proper size for his face, his hands or even his skin which is so dry it sometimes has a reddish hue to it. 

I will stand their mesmerized by the “ghost”, seeing those first moments on the operating table before I knew of his diagnoses.  I will remember the first time he grabbed my hand and felt he would be a golfer.  Thinking fondly even then of the events in our life together, reading books, helping with math, chemistry or science homework.  Maybe traveling and photography, maybe something like what happened in my own life, child leads father to bowling or golf.  Invigorating passions that the father may or may not have had without the son.    We sit together on some bench this ghost and I and then I let him go.

I used to hold onto those moments in the early days, when there seemed to be nothing else to hold onto.  I carried the ghost with me, needing him.  I used to have to wrestle the ghost away from my thoughts, making myself see, feel and experience what I had in front of me.  The ghost always was just that, a coping mechanism.  What I have in front of me is what has always been there.  It’s Buddy and he is what is real and that is what I like to hang on to.

On a recent trip to downtown Chicago to celebrate my 1st wedding anniversary as most suspect I did take a little time out to photograph.  Though on these occasions I try to keep it to a minimum since this time is intended to celebrate family, I always fight the urge within myself to watch the light.  These types of outings were exactly the reason why I purchased my P&S camera the Panasonic LX3.  If you have followed this blog on a regular basis this camera more and more has become my daily camera.  It will never replace my DSLR’s for the more serious work, but in many cases since I am limited by time and in some cases space I have found it invaluable. 

My wife on our first anniversary was not going to wait for me to set-up too many shots or to carry around a tripod; the LX3 fit nicely in my jacket pocket or in some cases her purse.  I was able to bring it out quickly, snap the picture and often she never knew that I had taken a photo.  Sneaky guy I am. 

Above is the Chicago Skyline while taken from the Navy Pier Ferris wheel.  This Ferris Wheel is modeled after the 1893 World Columbian Exposition that was held in Chicago and was the first Ferris Wheel.  Though imposing when you first arrive at Navy Pier at 150ft of diameter.  It would be dwarfed by the original which soared to a height of 250ft!

Kate and I decided to rake a ride up and this quick snap of a beautiful spring day in Chicago was the results.

Panasonic LX3 converted in Aperture, some Nik Color Efex Viveza was used on the sky and the Local Contrast Filter from Nik Color Efex 3.0 finished it off.

On another note I could continue to post photos each day for quite sometime I find that my ability to write articles up to the level that I would like is limiting me.  I find there are too many easily spotted errors making their way into these pieces.  Because I am a one-person operation as writer and chief editor I will push my schedule back to a more realistic 3 days a week schedule.  This should help me start having some quality control of the articles and still keep my day job which currently pays all of the bills.

Now if someone wants to make a large donation I could farm out the articles hire an editor, quit the day job and just take photos.  Send this donation via Paypal to bcmielke (at)gmail (dot) com

Lady Slipper in the Smoky Mountains, originally uploaded by BCMielke.

Just being friendly can help you with pictures. I a recent trip to the Smoky Mountains I was hiking up a trail that just a couple of years early had netted me more pictures than I could possibly take in only the first mile. This time however I and my pack trekked all the way up the mountain a good 4 miles with not much to show for it other than sore muscles.

On the way back down I chatted with some other photographers on the way up exchanging what we might have seen and where to find it along the trail. In this case one shared with me this Lady Slipper that was back in the woods and not known to me. I quickly got directions from him and went off to find it. Had I not been friendly or shared my knowledge this picture would have never happened.

Panasonic LX3 Local Contrast filter from Nik Color Efex 3.0

Catherine Stout: Photo of the Day, originally uploaded by BCMielke.

I had the opportunity to photograph a good friends newborn baby. This is always an exciting time for a couple. Jeff , Carrie and now Catherine Frances Stout were kind enough to give me a couple of hours of their time to get the pictures that I needed. Newborns can always be a problem at times, but Cati was a joy to work with never fussing until of course she was hungry and not bothering at all with the multiple flash pops that were going off. I enjoyed my time and hopefully got a few pictures that the couple will have lasting memories with.

There was a point when Carrie let me hold Cati. Most who read this know that my children are a little bit older than a baby. I asked her if Kate had put her up to this? She said, “Not at all” Now I don’t know if I believe this little exchange didn’t happen and my wife was mum about any contact between the two. What I do know was that it was pretty nice having a baby in my arms again and wondering what the future might hold for her.